LIFE'S EQUATIONS

Subject: LIFE'S EQUATIONS Fri Mar 06, 2009 12:47 pm

LIFE EQUATIONS

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

SHARE THIS WITH A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND WITH THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW

BAD THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN; IT'S WHAT YOU DO NEXT WHICH DETERMINES WHO YOU ARE.

Posts : 13 Join date : 2009-03-06

Ang galing ng mga ideas presented here! They are not quite new, really. But they have been buried somewhere else. Long forgotten. Thanks a lot for resurrecting them! Give us some more, please!